Steve Fergusen Story

Just Another Runner’s Story August 2024 Written by Gale Fischer

Redemption

“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love, and to be greater than our suffering.”

—-Ben Okri

The benefits that running can offer its participants are well documented. Those who implement a running routine reduce their risk of suffering from heart disease, diabetes, and other physical ailments. As valuable as one’s physical well-being is, the mental and emotional rewards of running are often equally if not more important. Our sport can sometimes serve as a bridge in guiding one from a dark chapter in life to the light at the end of the tunnel. For this month’s featured runner, Steve Ferguson, running served as one of the supports that pulled him from a deep pit of emotional distress. 

Steve realized early in life that being physically active was a passion for him. “My first experience with sports was in fourth grade when I started playing baseball. I loved baseball and thought that it would be something I would do forever.” Steve enjoyed playing baseball for five years but his time on the diamond would be cut short. “When I was a freshman in high school I threw my arm out. This was the end of my baseball career.” 

Fortunately, another sport helped to fill the void for Steve. “I started wrestling in seventh grade. As a freshman at Harper Creek High School, I competed on the junior varsity team. I wrestled on the varsity team in my final three years of high school. I competed in the lowest weight class all four years at ninety-eight pounds.”

His body may have failed him as a baseball player but wrestling was something he would excel in. “I held a national record for the number of wins for a three-year period of time with one hundred and eight wins. Over that period of time, I had less than ten losses. I qualified for state all three years but never was a state champion. I always struggled at this level. I would lose to individuals at the state meet that I beat during the regular season.” Winning at the state meet became a mental hurdle for Steve. “I was close to winning in the semi-finals my senior year losing 3-2. It was a heartbreaking loss for me.”

Steve spent his childhood being active. His wrestling coach helped to reinforce the importance of this concept. “I have always been active and still maintain this lifestyle at the age of sixty-nine. My high school wrestling coach, Coach Studer instilled this in me early on.”

Steve and his first wife, Martha, married in 1976, three years after he graduated from Harper Creek High School but the union wouldn’t last long. “We divorced two years later. The divorce was hard for me mentally. I felt like a failure. I was starting to put on weight.” The failed marriage took a toll on Steve emotionally. He needed something to help him get his feet back under him. “I started running and completed in my first ten-kilometer race. I realized that this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Pushing my physical and mental limits through running was something that I enjoyed.” Steve tried cross-country during his junior year of high school as a way to stay in shape for wrestling but absolutely hated running. Now he had fallen in love with the sport.

A few years into his running journey Steve decided to try a marathon. “In 1980 I ran my first marathon in Detroit. It was a way to challenge myself. The last six miles were a nightmare. I hit the wall at mile twenty. I talked myself into running from telephone pole to telephone pole through to the finish line. I finished in three hours and thirteen minutes. It is still my best time at this distance. Despite the physical pain, I felt a high emotionally.”

Completing his first marathon was a milestone for Steve but this wasn’t the highlight of 1980 for him. “ I married my second wife Maureen in 1980. She was also a runner and we would run together. We stuck to the five-kilometer and ten-kilometer distance.” Steve and Maureen’s family would have an addition a few years after they married. “We were blessed with Carly our daughter in 1982. I continued to run and would run a five-kilometer or a ten-kilometer race now and then.”

Steve had survived a divorce and was now a happily married man with a beautiful daughter. His life seemed on track but he was on the road to disaster. “After I graduated from high school I started experimenting with drugs. I also became hooked on alcohol. I had always been shy but when I was using drugs or drinking I felt like I belonged. I learned how to pace myself with my drug and alcohol use so as not to impact my running but in 1983 things began to spiral."

Steve felt as though he had his running and his family life under control. The drugs helped him to come out of his shell and he was managing this lifestyle while still enjoying running, working, and maintaining his life as a husband and father. It seemed as though he was managing his life without any issues but he was fooling himself. “The addiction grew stronger and it got to the point that my running became limited because of the drug use. I quit racing but would continue to run once or twice a week. Running was also an addiction but drug use made it more difficult.”

As his drug use began to pick up Steve would invest a great deal of effort in hiding his addiction. “I used cocaine and meth and would hide this from Maureen with the alcohol. My theory was that Maureen would think my behavior was caused by alcohol and not drugs. I also started coaching wrestling at St. Phil in 1989. I was still using drugs and tried to limit it so that it wouldn’t be noticeable around the kids. I coached there through 1993.”

Steve’s life was spinning out of control and he was locked in a vicious cycle not knowing how to change. The guilt that he felt as a husband, father, and wrestling coach was unbearable. He was in an emotionally fragile state of mind. “During this period of time, I hated myself but I couldn’t stop the drug and alcohol consumption. I was disappointed in myself. Each time I used I promised myself that this would be the last time.” 

He was in deep and hiding his addiction was not a long-term fix. Fortunately, his secret would be unlocked before the drugs caused unrepairable damage. “In late 1992 I took a large sum of money out of our bank account to fund my drug addiction. Maureen got a call from the bank about this transaction and she confronted me. She suspected before then that something was up and now her suspicions were confirmed.” Having Maureen know his secret may have been devastating for Steve but it was exactly what he needed to have happen. “She gave me an ultimatum to stop or she and Carly would leave. I joined the NA’s (Narcotics Anonymous) twelve-step program. It was the best thing that I ever did in my life. I was able to stay clean.”

Steve was able to stay away from drugs and alcohol but things would get worse before they would get better. “The first year was the hardest. There were times that I wanted to use so badly. It consumed my thoughts. I would intentionally drive by a drug house but fortunately, find the strength to drive on by. I prayed for just one day to not think about drugs. Suicide crossed my mind.” Although he wasn’t out of the woods, Steven finally navigated over a major hump in his recovery. “One night I was driving to Kalamazoo for an NA meeting. At the time I remember seeing a huge cross along the side of the highway but when I drive by the cross today it is not so big. It was a sign. This was eight months out. The thought of drugs didn’t dominate my thoughts any longer.”

Although recovery for an addict is ongoing, Steve eventually reached a point in which he seemed to finally have some control over his life. “I was going to NA meetings a few times a week. These saved my life. I went to these meetings for fifteen years. I have not gone since consistently but have gone now and then to take people who need help. The twelfth step of this program is meditation. Meditation turned into my therapy. My mentor was also a key to my recovery. His message about staying clean helped me and has helped other addicts tremendously. I have also mentored others.” 

Drugs had taken Steve away from running for a period of time but he would eventually find his sport again. Steve couldn’t have changed his life without the twelve steps of NA but he needed more than this to set him free. “When I started the NA meetings I also needed something else to fill the void. I turned to running again. The drug use had torn down my body. It took me nearly four years but I was able to get back to marathon form. I ran my second marathon in 2000 at the age of forty-five. I finished in three hours and nineteen minutes and was able to qualify for the Boston Marathon. I have run seven marathons in total.”

Things were going well for Steve. First and foremost he had overcome an addiction to drugs and alcohol that had taken control of his life. He had created a positive change for himself and with this had become a positive influence for others. His running was going well and he had even qualified for and run in the Boston Marathon. His marriage and family life had been saved.  Life would throw him another curve ball but with everything that he had experienced, Steve was prepared to face and conquer any challenge that would come his way. “In 2001 I started experiencing pain in my left hip. It would get worse but I was still able to manage it well enough to run. The pain got so bad that I had to quit running in 2003. I finally went to a doctor and was diagnosed with arthritis. It was bone on bone. In 2007 I had the Birmingham hip replacement which I thought would allow me to run again. I tried running after the recovery from surgery but it just didn’t feel right.” 

Over the years running had blessed Steve in many ways. It had served as a coping mechanism to guide him through the lowest points in his life. Steve would no doubt miss running but he wasn’t about to sit on the couch for the remainder of his life. “I still had the mentality of being active so I turned to cycling. This became my new running. It didn’t bother my hip. I cycle as much on the roads as I can and also set my bike up on a trainer to ride inside when conditions outside don’t allow for this.

It seemed fate would continue to test Steve but he has remained steadfast to his tenacity to remain physically fit. “In 2014 I crashed my bike and broke my prosthetic hip, my hand, and scapula on my right side. I had a second hip replacement and was back riding two months later. I had a back fusion in 2017 and in 2019 had my left hip replaced but I continue to ride my bike and also do some walking and hiking as well..”

Steve’s zest for life is a true source of inspiration. “My theory is to keep moving. I enjoy being active and don’t know how to stop. My advice for others is to learn from your experiences. For years I thought that I wasn’t a valuable person but NA has taught me that we all have good qualities. We are placed here to have experiences and to learn from them.”

Steve has walked through the lowest of valleys in his life. Much of his pain has been self-inflicted but his resilience and patience to change his life is one of inspiration and optimism. Running and physical activity have been a part of the recovery process for Steve but he couldn’t have done it without the help of NA and the support of friends and family. He is proof that no matter how helpless your life may seem, change can be made. At one time what seemed like a life of hopelessness has turned into a life of contentment, happiness, and positive influence for others. I personally have been graced with Steve’s positive influence.

Everyone has a story.  Stay tuned next month for another runner’s story.