What’s Your Prerogative?

Just Another Runner’s Perspective                                                                                             By: Gale Fischer

 What’s Your Prerogative?

“Don’t ask me why I run, ask yourself why you don’t."

 For those with a true passion for running, an innate understanding of why the sport is such an integral cog in the wheel of life exists. Internally, deep inside us, there is an awareness of why we choose to run. At some level for many, running may not necessarily be a choice but instead something more automatic. A daily run can become a routine or even a craving, moving beyond an activity of choice. Explaining to a non-runner why we run can be a meaningless task. It might be similar to the most faithful Christian having a conversation with an atheist about the power of faith and spirituality in day-to-day life. What seems obvious to a Christian is something an atheist may never understand, just as the devotion that a runner feels for his/her sport is something a non-runner may never come to appreciate. Ultimately all runners form a common connection with the joy that comes from running but the motivation to run can differ between runners. Ultimately an individual’s list of reasons for running may change over time, with some remaining constant on the list and others being replaced. Whatever our motivation for running, there must be a passion for the sport if it is to remain a source of bliss throughout years and decades.

For me personally, I began running because of the lure of the challenge it presented. I was a non-runner who became enamored with the idea of taking on a marathon. It seemed to me a mentally and physically difficult to impossible undertaking but the challenge was the catalyst. I began running and despised it, but my goal to complete a marathon made it manageable. As I began to hit distance milestone after distance milestone the confidence and swagger that it created for me was enough to keep me going despite the physical discomfort that existed during each run. Eventually, the physical demands began to diminish with the connection that running created for my body, mind, and spirit. When I crossed the finish line for my first marathon I was hooked. Running had started as a dreaded chore each day but gradually shifted to something difficult to go without.

Not long after my initial marathon another element that fueled my fire for running surfaced. For more than a year, I had trained alone and not shared the joy of running with others. A few months after accomplishing the challenge I had worked so hard to achieve I found a local group to run with. I still enjoyed running on my own but craved with equal fervor the social aspect of running that I had found. I had started running with the one goal of accomplishing the marathon distance, but now added a new goal of running just a little bit faster. I had no desire to be a competitive runner but simply aspired to cover the distance just a little quicker. I didn’t target specific finish times for race distances but resolved to improve my speed. This along with the social connections that running had recently blessed me with was more than enough to sustain me. My passion for running began to grow. I added new goals, short-term and long-term. One thing I longed for as a runner was to have it be a part of my life for as long as possible. I had just turned thirty but envisioned running to be something that I could enjoy for the next forty years or longer.

As my running began to progress new goals were made but some remained the same including longevity as a runner. By the time I celebrated my thirty-fifth birthday my goal of improving on my pace propelled me to other goals that revolved around PRs, specific race times, and competing as a runner. As my prerogative as a runner began to shift, the desire to run into my seventies remained a constant. For many who desire to compete as a runner the debate of quantity (high mileage) versus quality (fast-paced training) begins to surface. During my time as a competitive runner, this was never a debate with both quantity and quality becoming my focus. Deep down inside I was still focused on longevity as a runner. I realized that continuing a pattern of pounding out high miles at a fast pace week after week could jeopardize my durability as a runner for decades to come but the thrill of being able to compete at a high level made it all too easy to ignore this realization. Through a decade of running some goals remained constant, other goals were discarded and new goals were made and my love for the sport continued to grow.

As time went on injury would force me to re-evaluate and change my goals again. One hope that still existed was to continue to run for as many years as I could. In my early forties, a hip impingement and torn labrum would result in surgery and my first experience with time away from running. I would be forced to the sideline for eight months. My number one prerogative was still to maintain longevity as a runner and as I spent tortuous days unable to run I bargained with myself that quality or quantity would not matter as long as I could run. I was able to run again but eighteen months later I would have to undergo the same surgery again on my hip forcing me into another three months without running. When returning I battled mentally with abandoning competitive running but the excitement of being at the front of the pack was too enticing. I was able to regain some of my speed and enjoy fast times and age group awards for another two years but a broken foot in 2016 would take me away from the sport for another three months.

As I hobbled around in a boot, recovering from a broken foot my goals shifted once again. Dealing with injury and time away was distressing but the passion that I felt for running and my constant goal of staying in the game for two or three more decades never wavered. When I was finally cleared to resume I took a slow and methodical approach to my return. I would find myself in a perplexing state as a runner for a few years. Mentally I didn’t know how to get through life without running but identifying my goals and reasons for running created a mental fog. I still wanted longevity as a runner, craved the alone time of solo runs, and found joy in the social connections that running offered but couldn’t decide if taking my spot at the front of the pack was something that I could still hang on to physically. I was in my late forties and returning to my glory days seemed impossible. I convinced myself that age and injury had taken away my speed. This gear was physically limited due to age and injury. Perhaps I couldn’t get back to where I was because of my body but probably a more likely scenario was that my running prerogative was making another major shift. The desire to compete at a high level again was not there. If it was still possible it would require a significant amount of work and commitment. I wanted to just enjoy running for its simplicity and of course, I wanted to do this for the next two or three decades. The work to get back what I had was not something I was willing to do.

After a few years of hanging out in a state of limbo with the direction I wanted to go as a runner, my prerogative is now solid again. The debate of quality versus quantity has shifted to quantity over quality. My goal each year is to run the year in miles. This requires of me many miles but with little attention given to how fast I run. I enjoy two or three runs during the week in solitude. These runs provide time for me to reflect and decompress after the work day. The weekends provide an opportunity for a long run with my running group. This time of conversation and fellowship is the perfect compliment to the miles I spend all by myself during the week.

I have come to appreciate each phase of my running journey. Each chapter has been equally enjoyable with greatly differing experiences. Whether I run fast or slow, short or long, solo or with friends I always seem to find the joy of running that continues to fuel my passion for the sport.  Goals have come and gone but one that has remained constant has been longevity as a runner. As long as my body can run physically and as long as the passion stays alive this will continue to be my constant goal.

Anyone who has run for years or decades has no doubt experienced those things that are consistent with running. Although some things within our sport never change there are plenty of unique experiences that come with running. We all have reasons for running that are unique and different from others. Why you run today may not be the same as why you ran ten years ago or why you run ten years from now. To take part in running for years and decades, a passion must exist. For this passion to remain, goals will likely change. In running or anything in life one must find that balance of celebrating and learning from the past, savoring the present, and dreaming of the future. Is your prerogative to run different from what it was when you started? If running is becoming difficult, stagnant, or not enjoyable, change your prerogative.

Until next time, this has been just another runner’s perspective.